2011 accounted for 365 in between days. Somewhere between a life that I knew and I life I am beginning. In between a family that was complete and a family that is completely splintered. In between a home that was my heart and a house that is only a space to dwell. In between a memory of who I was and the reality of who I am.
2012 is the beginning of those unstuck days where everything flows and I find my place in the spaces in between.
11-11-11 Even in death you have to be a rock star. 1 year anniversary on such an iconic date, and to boot a national freaking holiday. Thats your style though you were a rock star, through and through. Charismatic, wicked smart, witty, and loveable to a fault. Coolest dude ever, sincerely you were and are and forever shall be. I wont make some long drawn out post about how much I miss you, and how I cry for you and how I ache inside for a chance to talk to you just once more. Ill just simply say Im trying to be the best Char I can be without you. But a Char without Mike is a void that will never be filled. I love you muffin, and today as were tromping through the woods I will be reminded of last year when we did the same, and you said to me “This makes me so happy Char being here with you and the girls in the woods, it really does.” I will always make sure your girls remember what an amazing person their father was, no matter how much I hurt I will promise that to you forever.
Being a widow makes you in and of itself a rebounder for life. even if you are lucky enough to meet that special someone who can fill that lost companion role, im guessing there is still always a sense of what was lost can never be found again. Ha at least thats what I can see it being for me.
While tweaking my online dating profile this mornin I contemplated the question.”What are you looking for?” Nothing from the drop downs seemed to fit. Then a flash of genius..”Im looking for someone whos looking for someone who can be a rebound relationship”
It fits so perfectly, for my needs.
Lets analyze shall we… Good.
Someone who’s been married/committed and loved and lost is most likely looking for someone with whom to spend time but not too much time, someone who can fulfill that void of lonesome and play a partner role to a certain degree. Someone who wants to have the kind of intimacy you can only know when you’ve really loved someone but maybe not full on. Someone whos interested in similar things, so you can do fun stuff together but doesnt need to be totally involved in your day to day life.
Ha..now that Im reading this its kind of like Im saying I’m looking for a half ass relationship, but thats probably mostly true.
Hows that for an online dating profile. There is potential in this idea though, lemme see if rebound.org is available for grabs, another invention idea that most likely wont see the light of day.
|
